Wait No More, Love
by Vestal Virgin
Summary: An addition to the episode "Body and Soul." The report from Seven, the Doctor, and Harry Kim about their mission raises some questions for Chakotay. With B'Elanna's help, Kathryn learns some truths of his past and determines their future. Written for Red2007 for VAMB's Secret Santa 2014 exchange. Please read warning at beginning of Chapter 1.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: Star Trek: Voyager and characters belong to Paramount/CBS.

A/N: Written for Red2007 for the VAMB Secret Santa Exchange 2014. Her request was for a "J/C story, any rating, just give me some warm fuzzies even if they don't come right away." This story takes place at the end of the season 7 episode "Body and Soul."

Thank you to my wonderful beta, KJaneway115! As usual, I have rewritten, fiddled with and likely muddled what she fixed, so all errors are solely mine.

**WARNING: Contains reference to past non-con (not J or C)**

***V*V***

The captain's insomnia was predictable, so Chakotay headed for the messhall after turning over the bridge to Tuvok for the last part of gamma shift. He searched through the square of transparent aluminum to be sure she was alone before triggering the sensor. The messhall doors slid open and then clicked shut behind him, hiding the light from the corridor.

As he paused while his eyes adjusted to the dim room, Kathryn sounded unsurprised by his presence. "Good evening, Chakotay."

At 0200 hours, he decided that it was technically morning. "Good morning, Kathryn. Will you join me for a cup of hot chocolate?"

"I believe I will." She sat at a table facing the view port while he replicated the beverages.

Chakotay slid into the seat across from her and passed her a cup, glad to see that she appeared relaxed. The detention of Harry Kim, the Doctor, and Seven of Nine by an alien ship could have ended in disaster and the loss of _Voyager's_ CMO. The three crew members had managed to devise a novel plan by hiding the EMH in Seven's Borg implants, and then had saved the alien captain, thereby helping secure their release.

Chakotay had been amused by parts of the report, but was unsure of Kathryn's thoughts. She never coped well with her people being in danger, often spending days afterward picking apart every detail in an effort to understand what went wrong and how it could have been prevented.

Kathryn tasted the hot chocolate and looked at him with a crooked smile. "That was an unusual away mission report."

He leaned back in the bench seat and chuckled. "I thought so, too. I didn't know it was possible for Seven's cortical node to hold the Doctor's program."

"Neither did I. He appears to have learned quite a bit from the experience."

"I'm kind of glad for him. He knows what cheesecake and champagne taste like now."

Kathryn's eyes sparkled with amusement. "Maybe the Doctor will be more sympathetic when the crew seeks treatment for an upset stomach."

"How is Seven?"

"I think she's confused. She talked as if his enthusiastic approach to the experience affected her, like she got a hint of things that she didn't know she was missing."

Chakotay nodded and swallowed a sip of chocolate. "That would make sense. She is quick to dismiss typical human experiences as irrelevant, but without those things she lacks a significant part of her humanity. She's still more drone than human in some ways. Maybe the last couple of days will get her to loosen some of that Borg control."

Kathryn glanced over his shoulder for a moment, and then sighed a laugh. "Seven was very matter-of-fact and a little disgusted by some of it."

He guessed that Kathryn was referring to the Doctor's attraction to the alien medic. Chakotay grinned, but the smile faded with a disturbing thought. "Does she see that as some sort of violation? I mean, could she feel like he manipulated her sexually?"

"The question does raise some interesting ethical concerns."

With a growing sense of alarm, he sat up straighter. "Kathryn, does Seven think that's what happened?"

He watched her carefully ponder the question before she answered, "No, I didn't get that impression from her. I think she understood the biological reaction, and that the Doctor couldn't control it. But, the emotional aspect was new for her. At this point, her only relationship was in Unimatrix Zero, and she doesn't remember most of it. From the Borg, she would know the mating processes of thousands of species. Knowing something and experiencing it for yourself is always different, though."

"The Doctor would never harm Seven, especially in that way. She understands that, doesn't she?"

"Yes, I'm sure she does. Don't worry, Chakotay. I'll talk to Seven again in the morning, and if need be, I'll talk to the Doctor. I really believe your concerns are unfounded."

Turning sideways on the bench seat, he ran a hand through his hair and stared out at the stars. He focused on a distant binary system and willed his thoughts to settle. Chakotay hoped Kathryn was right and that he was overreacting. His experiences in the Maquis left him hypersensitive to certain things, namely crimes against women.

Although the Doctor and Seven's situation was entirely different, anything remotely resembling unwanted advances toward women made Chakotay's blood run cold. He had never voiced it aloud, but that was his greatest fear for his captain and the female crew in the unpredictable Delta Quadrant.

Kathryn said his name twice, but he failed to hear her until she sat beside him and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Chakotay?"

He turned to her and blinked. "Sorry, I drifted for a minute. What were you saying?"

"It wasn't important. What were you thinking of?"

He touched his cheek to the back of her hand and then shook his head. "Only a random memory of the day I met B'Elanna."

She recognized by his tone that he had shut down, and chose not pursue the topic. Instead, she offered him an out. "You look tired. You should get some sleep."

He managed a smile for her. "So should you. The kids are home and safely tucked in. Come on, I'll walk you to your quarters."

"All right, I suppose it is late."

While she carried the cups to the replicator, he pushed his gloomy thoughts to the back of his mind and waited by the door. When Kathryn approached, he held out his elbow and she took his arm, showing him a gentle smile. They had an uncanny ability to sense when the other needed a comforting touch or an ear to listen, or even a hand to hold if they were alone. Six years was a long time to spend getting acquainted with someone. Their friendship ran deep and, both knew, so did their love.

Kathryn paused outside her quarters and clasped Chakotay's arm. "Are you sure you're okay? Do you want to come inside and talk?"

He patted her hand and shook his head. "Not tonight, but thank you for the invitation. I'm just overly tired. It has been a long couple of days. Goodnight, Kathryn." He walked off toward his quarters without waiting for her response.

She watched him from behind while he rolled his neck and shoulders as if shrugging off something. When a yawn caught her by surprise, she decided that maybe she could sleep after all. Kathryn keyed in her entry code and strode through the dark room to her bed, tossing her uniform on the lounge chair before climbing under the covers. Like most nights, she dropped off to sleep thinking of Chakotay.


	2. Chapter 2

Kathryn left cargo bay two and headed for engineering. Now that Seven had reassured her there were no ill feelings about the away mission, Kathryn's next priority was the Doctor. She wanted B'Elanna to check his program for any lingering effects of the repeated switching between his mobile emitter and Seven's cortical node.

As Kathryn approached engineering, the door slid open and Chakotay almost walked into her.

"Excuse me, Captain. Good morning."

She noted the circles under his eyes, and the sag of his posture that he attempted to straighten. "Commander, did you get any sleep?" she asked with concern.

"A little." He evaded further conversation by stepping around her. "I'm on my way to the bridge."

"I'll be up after I speak to B'Elanna." Kathryn turned into the open door and came face-to-face with a scowling chief engineer. "Good morning, Lieutenant. Is everything all right?"

"With me, yes. What's eating him?" she asked with a nod toward the exit.

"Chakotay? What do you mean?"

B'Elanna held up a PADD. "He asked me to go back over all of the logs from the away team's shuttle, even though I have my report right here. He seemed worried about something and had an odd look on his face."

Kathryn realized that perhaps she had dropped the subject too quickly with him in the messhall. "He expressed some concerns about the mission, which I assured him I would take care of this morning."

B'Elanna looked her with a slight tilt of her head. "That's all? This was hardly the most dangerous situation this crew has been in."

"I agree, but a specific incident bothered him. I'll take that report and go over it this morning. I would like for you to run a diagnostic on the Doctor. Make sure his program is operating as it should."

B'Elanna handed over the PADD. "Yes, ma'am. I need to leave some instructions with Carey and then I'll go to sickbay." She had taken two steps away when Kathryn called her back.

"B'Elanna, about Chakotay. We were discussing Seven's report when he remembered something. He said he was thinking of the day he met you."

B'Elanna stiffened and her voice clipped, "What? Why?" Leaning closer, she hissed, "What the hell happened out there?"

Kathryn was taken aback by the engineer's vehemence. "Nothing that warrants your reaction, Lieutenant."

"It wasn't 'nothing' if it reminded him of that day, Captain."

Kathryn looked to the side and ran one hand down her jaw. "Clearly, something went on then that I don't know about, but I can guess that it was unpleasant."

"You really _don't_ know, do you?" B'Elanna asked with surprise. "I assumed he would have told you a long time ago."

"Told me what?"

B'Elanna searched behind her for Carey and spotted him near the lift. "Lieutenant Carey, I'll be in sickbay running a diagnostic on the Doctor. When you have finished what you're doing, continue the relay tests on deck 6, section 14. We're still getting fluctuations."

After Carey acknowledged the instructions, B'Elanna quietly said, "Please, Captain, not here. I'll walk out with you."

Kathryn studied the other woman and then waved toward the exit door. "After you."

Once in the corridor, B'Elanna stopped a couple of meters from engineering and leaned against the bulkhead. "Captain, I'm not sure how you've never heard the story before. All of the former Maquis and many of the Starfleet crew know. I always assumed that Chakotay had told you how we joined his cell."

"No, I've never asked."

B'Elanna took a deep breath and glanced down at the floor. "The small cargo ship I served on was attacked by Cardassians. The captain managed to send out a distress signal before he was killed, and Chakotay answered it. When the _Val Jean_ arrived, the fight was over, my ship was damaged beyond repair, and I was the only crew member alive."

B'Elanna raised her eyes and stared hard at Kathryn. "Chakotay and three others beamed over, and they split up to search for survivors. He found me in the cargo bay trapped underneath a Cardassian soldier intent on raping me. I was trying to fight him off, but he was big even for a Cardie. My clothes had been ripped to shreds, I was bleeding from being beaten, and I remember lying there screaming. The next thing I knew, the soldier slumped on top of me, and then Chakotay's face appeared as he picked up the Cardie and threw him across the bay."

Kathryn held a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide with shock. B'Elanna continued, "Chakotay had killed him with one phaser shot. I was terrified, but Chakotay knelt beside me and took off his coat and vest to cover me. He calmed me down, and then picked me up and carried me back to his ship. He often took a woman field medic on assignments specifically to take care of victims like me."

As Kathryn absorbed that information, she realized what it meant. "Then he'd rescued other women before you," she whispered.

"Yes, many. The Cardassians used to brag to each other about how many females they took, how many of us died underneath them and how many were left alive but broken." B'Elanna took another deep breath and pushed away from the wall. "Whatever reminded Chakotay of that day, Captain, I can promise you that it wasn't good."

Kathryn reached for B'Elanna's arm and her blue eyes softened. "Nothing like that happened, B'Elanna, but I think I understand how one thought might have led to another. I'm sorry that you had to go through that."

B'Elanna's scowl faded to compassion. "Chakotay's kind heart made that part of the Maquis missions particularly hard on him, and made him fearful for the women under his command. That's why he is so protective."

"Thank you for telling me. That can't have been easy for you."

"That experience is part of why I fought against a relationship with Tom in the beginning. I think it is also why I've never seen Chakotay make the first move when he's interested in someone. I dealt with it, though, and having Tom now makes that day seem like a bad dream. I believe I can safely say that the memory is bothering Chakotay more than me."

Kathryn's breath had caught with the insight into Chakotay's relationships, and a whole new light was cast on their six-year friendship. Before she could betray her thoughts, she stepped away from B'Elanna and straightened her stance.

"I'll try to talk to him this evening. Let me know as soon as you have the results on the Doctor's program."

"Yes, Captain." Wanting to avoid an awkward ride, B'Elanna waited until Kathryn had entered the turbolift before walking over to catch the next one.

When Kathryn arrived on the bridge, she asked Chakotay to join her in the ready room. She laid the PADD on her desk and crossed to the replicator. "Coffee or tea?"

"Coffee, please." He followed her and sat down on the couch. "What were you seeing B'Elanna about?"

Kathryn handed him a steaming mug and joined him on the sofa. "I asked her to run a diagnostic on the Doctor's program. I want to be sure nothing went wrong with all the transfers. Before that, I visited Seven. She really is fine with what happened. In fact, she has a peace offering planned for the Doctor."

"Oh?"

"Yes," Kathryn smirked, "she is taking him lunch."

Chakotay paused with his cup halfway to his lips. "She's not planning to download him again, is she?"

"No, Seven believes she has found a compromise. She's going to eat the lunch and describe it to him."

Chakotay grinned, albeit tiredly. "I wonder if the Doctor will consider that a good compromise."

"I think he'll see it as the intended gesture."

"I hope so. I would love to record that conversation."

Kathryn laughed and laid her hand on his knee. "So would I. I've been trying to imagine it since she told me. I have B'Elanna's preliminary report on the shuttle logs. I'll look it over this morning."

He drained his cup and then gently touched her hand before standing up. "I'll get back to the bridge. Thanks for the coffee."

She glanced up at him and didn't like the guarded look in his eyes. "Dinner this evening? About 1900 in my quarters."

"Sure. What should I bring?"

"Nothing, I've got it covered." She watched Chakotay stifle a yawn before he left the room, and hoped for all their sakes that the day would be a quiet one.


	3. Chapter 3

Chakotay dropped his boots beside the chair in his quarters and slumped into the seat. He had a half hour before dinner with Kathryn. His eyes felt scratchy and heavy, but he decided that he was too tired to sleep. The shower seemed like a long walk as he pulled off his uniform on the way.

He stood under the warm water and contemplated his mood. Seven's demeanor and her lunch with the Doctor had reassured Chakotay that she was all right. It was the unbidden memories of B'Elanna and countless other abused woman that continued to bother him. Most of the time, life aboard _Voyager _kept him so busy with his duties that the past stayed buried. Occasionally, though, in the wee hours of the morning when exhaustion overtook him, a memory would sneak up to remind him of events he would rather forget. It wasn't rational or voluntary, but the result of fighting a war for people desperate to survive.

Kathryn had saved his Maquis crew and given them stability, a home, and a community that changed their lives. His mood lifted a little when he thought of his captain who was so much more - friend, confidant, comrade, and the woman he loved. He'd never told her that, but suspected that she knew because he was sure she felt the same way. Their crew and the struggle to get home took precedence over their love, but could never extinguish it.

Energized by his thoughts, Chakotay washed quickly and dressed in comfortable slacks and shirt. He attached his comm badge and then tapped it. "Chakotay to Janeway."

"Go ahead, Chakotay."

"This is your last chance for me to bring something."

The lightness in her voice made him smile when she said, "The mushroom soup and rye bread are almost ready, and the wine is breathing. If that's not to your liking, you'll have to cook your own meal."

"No, it sounds great. I'm on my way. Chakotay out."

Kathryn lit the candles on the dinner table and inspected the setting again. She had spent the day deep in thought after her discussion with B'Elanna, and many things about Chakotay had become clearer. One conclusion she had reached was that she and Chakotay had spent the duration of their friendship waiting for something.

At first, they had waited for their two crews to merge and begin operating as one cohesive unit. They had waited on New Earth, thinking they had all the time in the world. Then, the strength of the command structure, the possibilities of getting home, and incidents like the Borg alliance and the _Equinox _that had torn them apart until they found their way back to each other - all were reasons and excuses used to put their love aside for later.

Finding out that Chakotay had likely spent his time waiting for her made her once again question the necessity. She'd arrived at the answer that, as they approached their seventh year in the Delta Quadrant, "later" no longer made sense.

When the door chimed, Kathryn inhaled deeply and called for him to enter.

At the sight of her in a pale red dress, Chakotay pictured her sitting on a log, looking up at him with the sunlight reflecting in her blue eyes. She was more beautiful to him now than she had been then, and he swept his gaze over her, allowing himself a brief moment of yearning before asking, "What can I help with?"

She smiled under his appraisal. "You can relax while I get the food. I hope you're hungry."

He leaned over the table to inspect the vase of pink tulips, and then took his usual seat. "I am. I didn't eat much at lunch."

Kathryn placed a tureen of mushroom soup and a round of bread between them. After setting the wine on the table, she sat down across from him. "You must have ordered Neelix's special today."

He winced. "It was certainly special."

She laughed and filled his bowl. "Yes it was. What did he call it? Benachan grain bake?"

"Something like that. It was better suited for feeding Benachan livestock." He tasted the soup and savored the warmth if it. "This, on the other hand, is delicious."

"Comfort food sounded good this evening."

The meal passed in relative silence until Chakotay pushed his empty bowl away and leaned back with a sigh. Kathryn had finished as well, and refilled their their wine glasses before picking them both up. "Shall we move to more comfortable seating?" She walked to the low sofa and placed his glass beside hers.

He had learned over the years that when she did that, she wanted him to sit on the couch instead of the chair. The gesture also usually meant that she had something she wanted to discuss. He leaned into the corner of the arm and angled toward her. Watching her stall by wiping the rim of her glass, smoothing her dress, and crossing and uncrossing her ankles, he gently asked, "What is it, Kathryn?"

Her eyes cut to him and her brow wrinkled. "I'm wondering how you feel now about Seven and the Doctor. I was worried about you after our discussion in the messhall."

"It's nothing to concern you. Sometimes, the past has a way of catching us off guard. That's all it was."

She rested her elbow on the back of the sofa and propped her temple against her hand. "You're right, it does. I have to tell you something, though, and I'm not sure what you will think about it."

"You know you can tell me anything. I won't promise that I'll like it, but I will listen."

"This morning, B'Elanna asked me what was wrong with you. She ended up telling me how you two met."

Chakotay closed his eyes and dropped his head. "Please tell me you didn't make her relive that."

"No, Chakotay, I didn't. She offered the information after I told her the memory had upset you. I probably shouldn't have said anything, but since it involved her, it sort of slipped out. She assumed I already knew about that day."

The pain in his eyes when he looked up made Kathryn ache. "No one needs to know about it," he replied gruffly.

"Most of the crew already do. She told them herself, and said that the incident only seems like a bad dream to her now."

"A bad dream?" He surged off the couch and stalked to the viewport, standing with his hands low on his hips. "That was a damned nightmare, Kathryn! That Cardassian nearly killed her, and came close to raping her. It took her weeks to recover from the beating and months to trust me, the man who had rescued her. If I hadn't arrived when I did, B'Elanna Torres, our friend and invaluable chief engineer, would have been just another casualty of cruelty." The heel of his palm struck the window brace. "I buried Dalby's wife myself! Do you have any idea how many of their victims, dead and alive, I have cleaned up with my own hands?"

Kathryn went to his side and reached up to his cheek, turning his face toward her. "I do now, Chakotay," she said softly, "and regret that I didn't before. I think I understand many things more clearly."

His dark eyes bore into hers. "That kind of evil shouldn't have happened, but it did, and B'Elanna and the others are forced to live with it."

"So are you," she commented, "but B'Elanna has dealt with her fears with the help of her friends and Tom. I don't think you have."

"I can't afford to, Kathryn! I can't allow myself to lose that edge. Almost half of this crew is female, and you are the most important person on this ship. We don't know what to expect out here. The Cardassians are not the only heartless species in the galaxy. Maybe we have only been lucky so far."

She gripped his hand and led him back to the couch, sitting close beside him. "Every woman on _Voyager _is aware of the risks. From the time I reached puberty and it was clear that I planned to join Starfleet, my mother and father prepared me for the possibility. They never believed in shielding me, and instead taught me how to defend myself and what to do if I couldn't stop it."

"Do you think any amount of training can prepare you? Do you believe you could walk away from it with no more thought than if you were shot by a phaser?"

"No, of course not. I believe one thing with absolute certainty, though."

"What?"

"If that ever happens to me, you will help get me through as you did for B'Elanna and the others."

Emotionally raw, Chakotay couldn't stop himself from pulling Kathryn to him and burying his face in her hair. "I will," he whispered as her arms circled around him. "I don't know how, but I will."

Kathryn breathed in his scent and voiced what she had been planning since that morning. "I love you, Chakotay. If you love me, then that's all the strength I will need."

His hug tightened before he pulled back to cup her cheek. "You know that I do, and nothing can ever change that. I will always love you." Her bright smile lightened his heart, and he softly pressed his lips to hers.

She slid her hands to his chest and pushed him back on the couch, then lay down with her back against his chest. "You need rest, Chakotay," she told him as she pulled his arms around her and snuggled her head under his chin.

"And you expect me to rest like this?" he teased.

"Yes, I do tonight. Tomorrow night, dinner will be in your quarters. We'll see how it goes."

Exhausted by stress and lack of sleep, he locked his hands over her waist and closed his eyes. "I look forward to it. Goodnight, Kathryn."


	4. Chapter 4

Chakotay woke up alone on Kathryn's sofa early the next morning. Sometime after he'd fallen asleep, she had covered him with a blanket and slipped a pillow under his head. He also noticed the absence of his shoes and wondered how she had managed to remove them without waking him.

He searched the darkened room, the starlight barely bright enough for him to see the low table in front of his makeshift bed. At a noise from the direction of her bedroom, he sat up and quietly ordered, "Computer, lights one quarter."

Kathryn walked into the room in a pair of loose pajamas and a long robe. "Good morning," she smiled.

"What time is it?" he asked as he rubbed his face and combed his fingers through his hair.

"Almost 0500. Did you sleep well?"

"I did. How about you?"

"I went to bed a couple of hours after you fell asleep. That sofa wasn't designed for two people."

He raised a brow and asked, "I didn't push you off on the floor, did I?"

"No," she laughed, "you never moved. I'm the restless sleeper."

"I'll have to remember that." He stood up and folded the blanket, laying it atop the pillow. When she stepped up behind him and slid her hands over his shoulders, he turned back around and clasped her waist. "Kathryn, I believe something is changing between us, but I need to know that you want this. I'll respect your wishes whatever they are."

Saddened that his concerns ran so deeply, he offered to walk away even with her in his arms, she firmly held his gaze. "I started it, Chakotay, and I wouldn't have done so if I was unsure. I have certain expectations, such as being able to separate our work from what happens off duty. I have to be your captain; there is no changing that. You have to be my first officer because this ship needs you."

She spread her hand over his heart and moved in closer. "For six years, we have lived and worked together, and we have loved each other. It's time that we allow ourselves to show it."

He kissed her, briefly and chastely, and caressed the soft robe over her sides. "I should go back to my quarters while the corridor is quiet." Looking down at his wrinkled shirt and slacks, he remarked, "It's obvious that I haven't just come off duty."

She smiled and took a step back to walk him to the door. Although she wanted him to stay, he deserved time to think things through as she had done the day before.

Chakotay pulled on his shoes and said, "I would like to see B'Elanna before I go to the bridge this morning. I need to tell her that I'm okay."

"She would appreciate that. I'll see you in a couple of hours. Don't forget about dinner."

"Not a chance."

Chakotay made it back to his quarters without being seen. He sat down on his bed and watched the stars streaking past as _Voyager_ stayed the course for home. The estimated thirty-year journey seemed less daunting with the knowledge that Kathryn wanted to begin a real relationship.

He wondered how taking the next step could be so easy after years of reasoning why they shouldn't. When Kathryn had said, "I love you," without question or concern, their previous justifications no longer mattered to him. Their command structure was firmly in place, their crew had bonded as a family of friends and colleagues, and their quest to reach Earth was more attainable than ever. Starfleet protocol remained on the books, but Chakotay had never agreed with the one that urged Kathryn to remain alone. He assumed that she must have reached the same conclusion.

Chakotay washed, shaved, and donned his uniform. After shining his boots, his mind wandered to planning that evening's dinner. He straightened up his rooms, breaking out in a smile with each thought of Kathryn, and hummed to himself while he changed the sheets on his bed. The dark memories of the past slid away as he imagined new ones he would create that night.

His chores completed, he straightened his jacket and left for the messhall to grab a piece of fruit before contacting B'Elanna. While Chakotay picked through the bowl on the counter deciding which fruit to choose, Tom and B'Elanna entered the messhall. She spotted Chakotay and smiled hesitantly at him.

"Lieutenants," he acknowledged the couple with a nod. "I was about to contact you, B'Elanna. Do you have a minute?"

She gave Tom her breakfast order and then followed Chakotay to the far corner away from Neelix's counter. He stood in front of her with his back to the room, effectively hiding both of them from the few others present. "B'Elanna, the captain and I spoke last night about her talk with you. If I had told her before how you and I met, I could have saved you from having to do it. I'm sorry."

"I didn't mind, Chakotay. I mean, that's not a story that I tell in casual conversation, but I have shared it several times. I felt like she needed to know. I still don't understand why you were upset enough by the away team report to think of me, though."

He shrugged and replied, "I was tired from covering part of Harry's night shift, and I overreacted to a comment the captain made. You know how I feel about certain things because of our Maquis days."

"Yeah, I do. You look better this morning, at least. I take it you got some sleep?"

Chakotay had to suppress a grin at remembering waking up in Kathryn's quarters. "I did," he answered neutrally, "and I'm fine. Thanks."

"Are you on your way to the bridge?"

"As soon as I eat something."

"Would you tell the captain that the relays on deck 6 are fixed? I'll send up my report later this morning."

"I'll let her know. Enjoy your breakfast." He moved aside to let her pass before he returned to the fruit bowl and snagged an apple. He ate while he discussed the food stores with Neelix, all the while trying in his mind to decide what to serve for dessert that evening.

When Chakotay arrived on the bridge, Kathryn looked up from her command chair to greet him. "Good morning, Commander."

"Captain." Their eyes locked for a second as he took his seat. "Lieutenant Torres wants you to know that the relays on deck 6 have been repaired." A slight nod told her that the rest of the conversation had gone well, also.

"I'm glad to hear it. Let's hope for a day of smooth sailing."


	5. Chapter 5

Chakotay poured the champagne and openly admired Kathryn as he handed her a glass. He loved her in blue, especially the dress she was wearing that slipped over her curves and flowed when she moved. His fingers brushed hers when she took the drink, and a smile softened her face.

"Champagne, Chakotay? Are we having cheesecake for dessert?"

"It seemed appropriate, with a slight alteration. We're having chocolate cheesecake and raspberries." He raised his glass to her and watched the candlelight between them play over her hair. "To the safety of our crew, the steadfastness of our ship, and the depth of our love."

She drank to his toast and then cradled the crystal flute between her hands. "I do love you. After all this time, it's nice to say the words. Sometimes, I haven't been good at showing it."

"I knew, Kathryn, just as you were sure of my feelings. Our situation out here will require that a relationship take a back seat to our responsibilities. We both understand that."

She set down her glass and picked up her fork. "Tonight is ours, at least, and I'm hungry."

He grinned and spread a napkin over his lap. "Let's eat, then, but save room for dessert."

"I would suggest we go straight to the cheesecake, but this risotto smells delicious."

Pleased that she liked the butternut squash risotto and micro-greens salad, Chakotay caught himself stealing glances at her across the table. The joy he found in that simple freedom, of no longer having to mute his feelings for her, surprised him.

They quickly finished eating with little talk, a habit born of too many meals and leisure times interrupted by hails from the bridge. Their smiles said everything for them. When she pushed her plate away and drained her glass, he reached for her hand.

"Come sit with me for a minute." Chakotay led her to the couch and sat close by her side. With a quiet chuckle, he stroked his thumb across her knuckles. "I'm a little nervous," he admitted.

Her wry grin said that she understood. "Silly, isn't it? As well as we know each other, this is our first date. I've always hated first dates."

He laughed and slid his arm around her shoulders. "Me, too. How do you suggest we break the ice?"

She raised her free hand to his jaw and searched his dark eyes. "You could kiss me."

The tingle through his body reached his toes. "Yes, I suppose I could." His eyes closed when her soft lips met his, and he folded her closer in his arm. For several seconds, they barely touched, allowing the realization of their kiss to sink in and the sensations to build. With a sigh, she pressed closer and pulled her fingers from his to clasp his neck.

In an instant, all the awkwardness melted away and her tongue slipped between his lips to tease his mouth. Kathryn's hand slid through his hair and held him to her, and in the flush of heat she arched her breasts against his chest and turned her body toward him. The solid bulk of him aroused her as she felt his power caged just below the surface of his gentleness. She needed him, all of him, and wanted to be taken by him.

Her responses fueled Chakotay's own, and his hands began an exploration of her soft curves and lean muscles. Her body was a reflection of her personality, feminine softness combined with an underlying strength that belied her size. He caressed her back down to the top of her round buttocks, and then slipped over her ribs to palm the sides of her breasts. Breathless with desire, he broke the kiss and opened his eyes to her wonton look. He saw no hesitation, no question, but only a burning need to finally complete their love.

Their uneaten dessert and the champagne were all forgotten as he stood and lifted her up with him. Walking backward, he led her to his room and lowered her to the bed, captivated by her auburn hair spread over his pillow, and the flash of pale thigh where her skirt had ridden up.

"I love you, Kathryn."

"And I love you. No more waiting, Chakotay."

He gripped the hem of her dress and pushed it up, sliding it up her back when she raised her hips, and then off as she lifted her arms. Kneeling over her, he roamed his eyes down her body, over her blue, silky bra covering full breasts, along the creamy skin of her stomach, to the triangle of material at the apex of her thighs. His erection strained against the confines of his slacks as he bent to kiss her breast.

Kathryn worked his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. She stroked the warm skin of his back, over his shoulders and across his broad chest. His muscles shivered under her light touch, drawing a quiet groan from his lips against her breast. When her thumbs slid over his nipples, he raised his head and glanced up to her.

Without a word, he lowered her bra straps and then unhooked the garment and pulled it from underneath her. Crawling down the bed, he slipped off her panties before standing up and removing his own clothing. He stretched out beside her and pulled her into his arms, their nude bodies pressing together at chest and hips.

"You are precious to me, Kathryn," he whispered in her ear.

He felt her smile against his neck. "I'll accept precious, as long as you remember that I am not fragile."

He chuckled and pulled back to see her face. "Are you implying you like it rough?"

Her hand snaked between them to his shaft pressing against her belly. "Not whips-and-chains rough, but I do like it hard."

He laughed at her double entendre and rolled on top of her, thrusting against her palm. "Oh, I can promise hard." Shifting his weight to one elbow, he slid the other hand alongside hers and pressed against her clitoris, committing the sound of her gasp to memory. When his finger dipped inside of her and her hips bucked against his hand, their passion overtook all other thought.

Lips, tongues, teeth, and fingertips explored and teased, seeking each other's pleasure points and learning together. When he could wait no more, Chakotay lay over her again and brought her to orgasm with the tip of his length sliding over her pearl.

As she moaned and shuddered, he pushed into her heat until fully sheathed inside of her. She wrapped her legs over him and dug her fingers into his back, encouraging him to take what he longed for. Slow, deep strokes built to fast, hard thrusts as he worked to his peak. He pulled her tightly against him and felt her inner muscles grip and release him. Her teeth on his neck sent a tremor through him, and he plunged into her with a groan as his climax exploded. Rocking deeper and clinging to her, he poured his seed into Kathryn.

When they quieted several minutes later, Chakotay turned onto his back and guided her head to his shoulder. He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. "I hope this night was what you've dreamed of."

Kathryn caressed his bare chest with her fingertips. "It was, but the night is still young, Chakotay, and I've waited a long time."

He grinned and cupped her breast, teasing her nipple and watching the rosy bud tighten. "How about dessert in bed, and then we'll see how it goes?"


End file.
